North American Tour Blog...

[delorentos]

Thursday 6th
Woke up at 6 after not being able to sleep with a crushing pain in my lungs and severe nausea. I've had the beginnings of a cold starting for a day or two, so i started taking a course of antibiotics last night. Seems like a chest infection. With my throat too sore to swallow i forced down the antibiotic and a vitamin tablet and got to the airport two hours early. Taking the pill on an empty stomach hit me quite hard and i spent the time that the lads we queuing dry retching over a bin in front of various dedicated smokers. Jaysus. We checked in our stuff and made our way to the massive queue for US immigration. After nearly fainting in the heat i asked the lady if there was any way i could skip a few folks as i couldn't guarantee i wouldn't puke on someone, so i went to the top of the que. Being a bit tired and delirious, i wasn't ready for the aggressive questioning of the Homeland Security lady, and stood there wobbling and sweating as she went through the procedure. After a bit, she let me through and i got on the plane. A few minutes later Ro rang me - Ross had been stopped, and there was some kinda problem and he mightn't be traveling. I asked to get off, and was escorted off the plane by a spotty nervous teen and brought out to figure out what was up. I wasn't able for it and i was wondering if they'd quarantine me if i had a coughing fit or collapsed or something. One of the airport staff told me i shouldn't have got off the plane, leaving a flight after you've boarded is a major security breach and i was liable to be in deep shit. I lay down on some couches for a bit and drank some water, then Nial came over and we tried to figure out what was up.
When Ross came out from talking to Massive Border Security man i went in. I told him all the details and then... Silence. It was 9.30, a half hour after the flight was supposed to leave. Then he said "This is American Homeland Security. This is serious." I swear, i almost had a coughing fit of fear. Then he pressed an intercom and said "Hold that flight, these boys are getting on" and i nearly had a coughing fit with excitement. We jumped on the plane, delighted, as most of the other passengers looked at us with annoyance. I had a coughing fit of relief.
The seven hour flight was fine, I tried to sleep, but i had to keep dry retching in the bathroom. I decided to force some food down, and i felt a little less sick afterwards. When we arrived at our hotel, at about 2, i went to bed for the rest of the night only getting up to have a visit to the loo or eat a manky rubbery takeaway. The lads spent the day having fun and shopping and i spent it in bed watching shit tv. Lots of storms going on in the states, i hope it doesn't affect us... The Irish famine memorial is across the road, so i felt a bit guilty for giving out about being ill. Also, there's a picture of a lady in an erotic pose on the wall, but her face looks EXACTLY like john Lennon frowning. Its been a pretty crazy start so far...

[inlovewithdetail]

nice start

[delorentos]

Friday 7th.
GIG: Mercury Lounge, Manhattan, New York
I woke up around 7 having pretty much slept through. Everyone had an amazing time. Pricks. Went down for breakfast and managed to eat, and it all stayed down. I dunno if i'm going to be able to play this gig later, i think i could probably play if we just did a set of songs Ro sings. We'll see. The lads skipped away to have another amazing time in the big apple, while i sat in bed watching ads and the occasional tv programme. When i went in to have a shower there was hair and m&m's all over the floor. It looked like bigfoot had a snack during bathtime. After a while of bored channel surfing i decided to shuffle downstairs to use the internet in reception. I looked a little like a drug addict, with a hoodie on under my shower robe, a tissue to my nose, black circles under my eyes and the occasional bout of messy coughing. The fella beside me was having problems with his computer so i helped him out and then coughed on him. It was pretty embarrassing. To break the silence I told him how bigfoot ate some m&ms in my bath and that there was a transsexual john Lennon watching me sleep but he looked at me like i was insane and left. i decided to return to bed til we had to soundcheck.
When we arrived at the Mercury Lounge in Manhattan, no gear had arrived so we went for a coffee. The Bleedin' bleedin's did their soundcheck and when we returned we started into ours, quickly realising we'd stupidly forgot transformers for our power supply's. That rectified, We'd a quick soundcheck, then Damien Dempsey arrived, also slaughtered with a cold. This gig, the Crackfest friday show, was sold out so we sorted a few friends on a guestlist and headed back to the hotel for some rest (me) and some pints and shots (nial ross and ro).
Myself and ms Lennon watched some cartoons and dosed off. I've never played a gig without singing before, it was pretty weird to imagine, but we wrote up a new setlist and headed off to the gig around ten. We'd practiced a set to play for the whole tour, trying to fit the best new songs in with the best album tracks, but it can wait til tomorrows gig (if i can sing) in Toronto. Tonight was about adapting i guess, no-one was going to pull the gig. When we arrived poor Damo was croaking through his set, obviously in pain. The audience was still loving it though, and it still managed to be a brilliant gig and get a great reaction. Backstage, he collapsed into his chair after the gig and said nothing except "Jaysus i need a beer".
Showtime. I was pretty nervous, i decided to just nod and tap my foot and try not to look as if i wanted to curl up in a ball, and get to the end. The lads played a blinder, jumping about and giving it everything, so we didn't suffer only having half the songs to choose from. After the gig i went back to the dressing room and plonked myself across from Mister Dempsey, and tried to string a few words together, but i was shattered. Every now and again he grunted and I'd nod in agreement, and vice versa. I'd thought so much about the vocal aspect of playing i'd forgotten the physical side, the simple mechanics of being ill and performing. Anyway, the lads upstairs got lots of compliments and beer and i talked to a few friends and grudgingly headed back to the hotel early. If i stay this sick i might have to get someone else to write this blog, as i don't think anyone wants to read the thoughts of a sick person for two weeks. I fell asleep with the Democratic presidential candidate race on, and had weird dreams about playing football with Barack Obama. He was a bit of a DIY...

[gareth]

does this mean i can play the summer festivals again?
how different can singing and playing guitar be from drumming?
get well soon Kmeister.
say hi to cathal for me. and tell him he is a bollix.

[Hazey]

Ahhhhhh nooo Kier! *hugs* poor thing...

I for one quite like the random musings of a sick person.. just get one of the lads to throw in what they did in between!

[glow=red,2,300]

"To break the silence I told him how bigfoot ate some m&ms in my bath and that there was a transsexual john Lennon watching me sleep but he looked at me like i was insane and left"

[/glow]
hahahaha i love it! although the fact that there was lots of unknown hair on the bathroom floor and you had to walk through it..... hmmmmmmm....

[klaartje]

Ah, poor Kier.. hope you get better soon!

[Emma.]

This is the funniest tour blog.... Please keep writing it!

[klaartje]

That's just cruel!
Please do get better Kieran!

[delorentos]

Saturday 8th
Gig: The Hideout, Toronto

Despite the hangovers we got a taxi up to Kennedy airport nice and early, to be told that our New York to Toronto Flight at noon was cancelled due to adverse weather in Toronto. When we got to the desk we found out that every flight on the route was cancelled, and we were presented with the option - call Angela from Music from Ireland at the venue and cancel, or try going through Chicago and hope that the connector leaves to Toronto. The risk was - Toronto was in the middle of a blizzard, so we could get stuck in Chicago. But we were stuck in New York anyway...
We decided to try and play.
It was 10am. Our objective - get to Toronto to play the gig at 10pm.
We booked ourselves on the next Chicago flight on American and on the next two connections on to Toronto. After long taxi ride to LaGuardia we checked in our bags. We have SSS written our tickets, so when we go through security, we get "chosen for random extra checks". This means as well as normal security, our bags get searched, we get frisked and they run tests on our runners and phones. My runners probably aren't the most pleasantly fragrant, so I can kinda understand the caution. As soon as we get to the gate our flight is delayed. Currently, we should arrive in Toronto around 8, giving us about 3 hours until we have to be onstage. It’s tight, but it should be fine. Then our flight is delayed again, Giving us 2 hours.

There isn't much food at the gates, so we have a nutritious meal of hot dogs, coke and crisps. At 3 o'clock our flight gets canceled. The helpful but massively stressed staff book us on another flight that will get us into Chicago at 7.30, then the connection leaves at 8.25, and we’d get to TN at ten. I text Angela and she assures us we can play at midnight. Perfect. As we had a further two hours to wait until the 5 o'clock flight, we went out to get some food in the main hall, back past security.
After a fruitless search for some fruit, I settle on a Wendy’s chicken burger. (I figured it was healthier than McDonalds, Dunkin’ donuts, some faux Italian slop or KFC). I felt a bit better today, and confident I could sing when we reached the gig, but I needed to eat healthy. My vitamins were in my bag, checked in somewhere, and I couldn't get to it. I returned to the gate through the security again (another "random extra check" for 20 minutes) and arrived to find that the flight was again delayed. It also seemed the whole airport was grounded, with flashing red lights all over the boards and people shouting down mobile phones everywhere. The math was now tight, we’d 15 minutes between that flight landing and the connector to TN. We talked about cutting our losses, and going back to hostel, but we hung on. Then the flight got delayed again, and it would now arrive into the windy city ten minutes after the Toronto flight left. We decided to cancel. It was over, No gig. We texted Angela to apologise and she said she understood, and we asked at the desk for our bags.
The middle aged moustache behind the counter made it very clear, your bags are booked to Toronto, and they are going, even if you're not. We asked was there anything we could do. He suggested the baggage area. Myself and Ro ran to the other side of the terminal to ask the handlers if they could go get our guitars and drum stuff, and they said no.
What could we do? We had to go now. We'd missed the gig, and if we stayed in NY the weather was that bad there was a good chance we could miss the other gig too. We decided to get the flight and whatever happened, try going to Toronto anyway. After a third "random extra check" (it doesn't feel that random y'know) on the way back to the gate the news came through, the connector was delayed. We still had a chance.
We'd get in at 11, but we gone this far. We texted Angela again and she changed our set time to 12.
We got on the plane pretty upbeat; it was actually going to work. We thought of the scene, the saloon door bursts open, the crowd cheers as the band arrive despite all odds... What then happened to was one of the scariest flights we’ve ever taken. Flying through a storm the cabin lurched, dropped and shook, people gasped and screamed, and some folks got pretty upset. It leveled out, but I spent the rest of the trip with my nails dug into the seat.
When we landed, we ran all the way across the huge airport to the gate. It was deserted, We'd just missed the delayed flight. The next one was at 10.25. We'd get in at midnight. It was starting to be unlikely that we'd play.
It had been a long frustrating day. Airports are boring, stressful and expensive.
At last we got some good luck after a stinker of a day; the flight to Toronto was going to fly. We'd be in before 12. As we sat on the flight waiting to take off I texted Angela to apologise, but she said we could go on at 2.

Wearily, we figured this was it. I told her we'd go for it.

Then, while we sat waiting for takeoff, the plane broke. Mechanical failure. Eventually, 2 hours later, it took off and the clear night over Chicago made the city below look like a massive twinkling motherboard. When we finally arrived in Toronto, it was 2.30. No gig. Just lots and lots of snow.

Nothing went right for us all day. Jamie from Fight like Apes valiantly tried to keep the bar open for us to have a beer, but we never made it to the venue. On the way to the Hostel our taxi driver told us the clocks went forward, It was suddenly 5am. Just when we thought nothing else could go wrong, when we got to the hostel, our driver told us to be careful. It was a very dangerous area, he pointed out a few crackhouses and right on queue the crack zombies began to trudge through the snow towards us, arms outstretched, mumbling about dice and change. Disappointingly the dingy hostel had quite spectacularly mis-portrayed itself. When we got to our room (with a door to the street off its hinges and only one light) we decided it might be best to sleep in our clothes.

At least my cough has got better…

[gareth]

okay im starting to think you guys arent actually in the USA at all. you are just in portrane sitting around a table co-writing these elaborate stories to post on message boards.

[klaartje]

I was thinking the same thing while reading that..
How much bad luck can you have? Fair play to you though for hanging on and trying to get to Toronto anyway.

[guest]

Why do i have a hilarious (not really though) image of the lads racing through customs being chased by a team of burly security guards shouting, "Hey! Stop!"?

[mcevoyb2]

Hey lads,

Just wondering, my friend was at that gig on Saturday in the Hideout, apparently some band went on calling themselves the Delorentos? But then after reading the blog above.... Let's just say we're terribly confused! Any chance you could clarify?

[delorentos]

Sunday 9th.

We woke up in the crappy hostel with the fresh smell of recently brewed crack wafting through the broken window and decided to get the hell out of dodge. Our nights sleep was punctuated by random junkies shouting about various things loudly all the way through the night. We packed up, had an argument with the owner about the booking, and headed off to the Global village hostel on the main street. Instantly its friendlier and we booked in and went and got a huge all day breakfast thing in Café Java, a cool little cafe a street or two away. The snow is pretty thick on the ground still, but its sunny and not too cold so the paths are slippy with deep slushy puddles on each corner and our feet get soaked. After that we strolled around and later went back and badly played pool. Coincidently Fight like Apes are staying in the same hostel, and we chat about the gig and explain our tales of woe so far. They’re heading to Austin tomorrow, and we talked about the festival and how warm it could be. Ahhhh… If we can get through the rest of the trip without too much more shit going on, SXSW is the prize at the end of the tunnel.
We headed off to the cinema around 8, and in true North American style they had a big Burger King in the foyer. Beside the popcorn and ice cream. I laughed and pointed it out to the lads, who I quickly realised weren’t behind me, but were in fact in the BK queue ordering. So much for starting to look after ourselves on tour... Semi Pro was kinda funny (Will Ferrell seems to be on a mission to make lots of average films about sports where he takes his top off and shouts stupidly a lot), but Ro and Nial beside me noisily eating quarter pounders was far more entertaining.
Later myself and Nial went for a beer in the hostel bar, and realising Fight Like Apes had gone to bed, robbed their key off Dave their soundman and we went and annoyed them and sat on their beds til they sleepily came down. Beer was drank, snowfights were had in the smoking area and various coloured cocktails were lowered.
Around 2 am everyone decided to return to the hideout for beer and pool and I had to head off to bed. Doctors orders. Its getting pretty annoying all the nights I’ve missed, but all I care about is being able to sing so I’ll endure it for another night. I lay in bed listening to Sigur Ros and listening to the trams click-clacking outside, thinking about worst-case scenarios befalling tomorrows gig and what i would do if i had to stop singing altogether. Its a funny frame of mind to be in, but i drifted off pretty quickly nonetheless.

[guest]

Now how would you know what freshly brewed crack smells like? Hmmm?